Sunday, April 25, 2010

"I've got a new job..." Jokes

This is how we have spent the weekend. Making up "I've got a new job..." jokes. Have you come across this idea yet?


Knockers
Originally uploaded by robpatrick
It's a simple idea. The jokes have a common format of question and response format - a bit like knock-knock jokes. Also, like knock-knock jokes there seems to be an almost infinite variety of responses and puns are often at the root of the humour (assuming you find the concept humorous).

The baseline joke, the one that defined it for us and sets the standard that the other jokes will hopefully exceed, is as follows:
Person 1: I've got a new job.
Person 2: What is it?
Person 1: I'm a dustman.
Person 2: How's that going for you?
Person 1: It's rubbish!
See how it works? Some of our favourites so far are:
Person 1: I've got a new job.
Person 2: What is it?
Person 1: I'm a tailor.
Person 2: How's that going for you?
Person 1: So-so.

Person 1: I've got a new job.
Person 2: What is it?
Person 1: I work in a laundry.
Person 2: How's that going for you?
Person 1: I'm cleaning up.

Person 1: I've got a new job.
Person 2: What is it?
Person 1: I'm a miner.
Person 2: How's that going for you?
Person 1: It's the pits!
Surely you can do better than that. Leave your New Job jokes in a comment and a special Perrier no-prize will be awarded to the best.

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job.
Oh what is it?
I'm a plastic surgeon.
Cool. How's it going?
Badly. I'm trying to save face.

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job.
What is it?
I'm an underwear retailer.
Cool. How's it going?
It's pants.

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job.
Oh, what is it?
I work in an origami factory.
Cool. How's it going?
Not so well. The company folded.

Aileen said...

I've got new job.
Oh what is it?
Bungee jumper.
How's it going?
It's got its ups and downs.

Aileen said...

I've got a new job.
Oh, what s it?
I'm a librarian.
How's it ...
Shhhh!

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job.
Oh what is it?
I'm wild pig hunter.
How's it going?
It's a bit of a boar but it brings home the bacon.

I've got a new job.
What is it?
I'm speed testing lab animals.
Hows it going?
It's a bit of a rat race.

I've got a new job.
What is it?
I'm monitoring pressure valves at the steam factory.
Hows it going?
Pffffff...

David said...

This is outstanding! Whoever Anonymous is, you are doing a great job. And Aileen - what made you think of the librarian one? :-)

Good stuff people. Keep them coming.

Steve Bunce said...

I've got a new job,
Oh what is it?
I'm eyedrops tester.
Cool. How's it going?
Good, things are looking up.

Steve Bunce said...

I've got a new job.
Oh what is it?
I'm a escapologist.
Cool. How's it going?
Badly. I'm a little tied up the moment.

David said...

Thanks Steve

I especially like the escapologist one!

Mr Funny Jokes said...

These are really good. I really enjoyed reading all of them.

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job
What is it?
Poker player
How's it going?
We'll see what's on the cards.

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job.
Oh what is it?
I'm a tailor.
Cool. How's it going?
It suits me

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job.
Oh what is it?
I work in a sweet shop.
Cool. How's it going?
Works a treat

Anonymous said...

I've got a new job
What is it
I answer other people's phones
How's it going?
It's not for me

Better than my last job though
What was that?
I was paid not to go to the gym
How did that go?
Didn't work out

Anonymous said...

I just got a new job
Oh really? What is it?
I write Communist Propaganda
And how's that going?
Terribly! We're in the Red!

Liz Woodworth said...

I have a new job!
Oh yeah, what is it?
I'm the head of the Tea Party in the United states!
Wow - how's it going?
All right.

Liz Woodworth said...

I have a new job
Oh yeah, what is it?
I'm making wine
How's it going?
I'm pretty much crushing it.

Unknown said...

I've got a new job.
Oh what is it?
Care worker for twins.
How's it going?
Same old, same old.

GEE said...

I've got a new job.
Oh what is it?
It's at the zoo circumcising the elephants.
How's it going?
Well the pay isn't very good but the tips are huge!

Unknown said...

I've got a new job.
Oh really what is it?
I'm selling Lilo's.
How's it going?
It's great, I'm floating on the stock exchange next week!

anonymous said...

keep it up

SUSSAN MORRIS said...

It’s obvious some patients with HIv are being enslaved to the antiviral and other supplementary Orthodox medicine just to help suppress the virus and not cure it permanently. I have been with the virus since 2015 until I was introduced by a blogger who also narrated her story online on how she was cured of Genital Herpes after using Dr james Herbal Medicine. This is a year and 2 weeks since I was cured of HIV/AIDS. All thanks to  this Great Dr James, for healing meI've seen the great importance of natural herbs and the wonderful work they have done in people's lives. I wonder why people still spend their money on surgery, injections and drugs each time they are sick. Natural herbs can cure all kinds of illness including Shingles, Lupus, Parkinson's disease,Schizophrenia,Cancer,Scoliosis,Bladder Cancer,Colorectal Cancer,Breast Cancer,Kidney Cancer,Leukemia,Lung Cancer,Skin Cancer,Uterine Cancer,Prostate Cancer,Fibromyalgia,aSyndrome Fibrodysplasia ,Epilepsy Dupuytren's disease, Diabetes ,Coeliac disease, Angiopathy, Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Allergic diseases.Hiv_ Aids,Herpes,Inflammatory bowel disease ,Copd,Diabetes. herpes,Cancer,Vaginal burning, diabetics, asthma,EBV, HIV, hepatitis,Enlargement, etc. I've seen it with my own eyes. I was Cured of hiv and my aunt and her husband were cured from Cancer by  the same Dr James who uses natural herbs and roots extracts to cure different kinds of illness. Even Dr James proved to the whole world countless times that natural herbs can cure all kinds of diseases and he cured countless people using natural herbs. I know it is hard to believe but am a living testimony. He prepared herbal medications and sent it to me through DHL COURIER  SERVICES and I took it as he instructed. 7days later after the usage of his herbal medicine , I went to the hospital to do a checkup, the result came out and I was tested NEGATIVE. There is no harm in trying herbs, it will  cure you from any diseases you are suffering from, so why don't you give herbs a try and see its effectiveness..Dr James herbal medicine it's easy to drink with no side   Contact Dr James on Email .... drjamesherbalmix@gmail.com..

bww said...

Heard it was just a sew sew job

bww said...

Hey I got a job offer at the glass company installing mirrors....I could really see myself doing that!